


we can talk about it in this cold winter evening

by kyeoesc



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hero Complex, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Short & Sweet, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28891455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyeoesc/pseuds/kyeoesc
Summary: Shooting for the day ends as the darkness of winter starts to creep its way into the sky. Yunho and Jongho start talking about things in their mind lately, particularly the members.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Choi San/Jeong Yunho/Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi, Choi Jongho/Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang
Kudos: 49





	we can talk about it in this cold winter evening

**Author's Note:**

> super duper self indulgent, mostly character study and assumption making, don't read if u cant distinguish between real life and fiction bc it's the very fine line between it. it also touches mingi's anx!ety so please don't read if it's a sensitive topic for you. but otherwise, please cry with me about my yungi feels
> 
> thanks to arina (twt: hongpockets) for proofreading again, you're my angel.
> 
> if you like my stories you can find me on twt @ysjux bc im always crying about SOMETHING ateez there + lots of fanart that's not mine uwu
> 
> enjoy ❤️

“I parked the van pretty far, are you guys okay with staying here by yourselves while I go get it?” 

The manager was a few inches taller than Yunho and resembled a father bear when standing amongst the members. Yunho nodded and glanced at Jongho. 

“Sure,” the younger said. The manager walked away in his long padded jacket, black synthetic material rustling with every move. It was almost dark, the way winter brought grey clouds to the sky early, hours before the shops closed. The two couldn’t wait to reach home to the warmth of heated floors and purified air, but they appreciated the time alone they had after the drama shooting. It was one of those days when only the two of them had scenes, so San and Seonghwa were absent from their usually chatty crowd. The two caught each other’s eyes and smiled behind their face masks, looking away as they chuckled. Jongho was about to reach for his phone to relieve the awkward air between them, but Yunho managed to speak up first.

“How have you been doing lately?”

Jongho licked his lips and kept his phone back in his padded jacket pocket. “Fine, I’ve been okay. What’s up?”

“Nothing much.” The taller started pushing one foot against some bricks on the side of the walkway. “Just thought that we don’t usually get time alone so if you wanted to talk.” 

Yunho didn’t end his sentence; he didn’t need to. It’s true that when you have eight members and a couple of managers constantly fluttering about, it’s hard to get some one-on-one time with each other, except for in the dorms or in the practice rooms, and the two didn’t put in the effort to meet each other then either. Jongho was well known for being the reliable youngest; the one who often took care of the older members too, but this was Yunho’s way of telling Jongho that he didn't always have to be the reliable one. Yunho was considerate like that.

Jongho thought about it, and nothing in particular was bothering him at the moment, except for some of the lines he still thought he needed to work on for the drama, but because they just got off the set, Jongho assumed Yunho didn’t mean anything in regards to it. “How ‘bout you? You’ve been okay? Must be hard, with Mingi being absent and all.”

It was an unsaid bond, Yunho and Mingi’s relationship. They weren’t the type to show it often; both of them have egos the size of the sun, and fan’s teasing was fun to a point, but when they were together they enjoyed each other’s company. At first, it was obvious Yunho was the one who took Mingi’s hiatus hardest. But he was strong; when trying to comfort the fans, the members heard his words as a comfort for himself too. Mingi’s absence affected all of them, but Yunho especially, was missing his partner in crime.

“I’m doing okay,” Yunho sighed, feeling a weight in his chest. “The drama’s a good distraction. He’ll be okay, I know that, so it’s just a matter of waiting for him to come back to us. In a better condition, in a place where he’s comfortable working. That’s what’s important.”

It sounded less of him convincing Jongho as it was convincing himself. Jongho nodded anyway.

“Yea, I miss being pushed between you two and looking like I lost a few inches,” Jongho chuckled. Yunho followed, his eyes creating two crescents. 

“So, you've been getting along okay with your roommates?”

The question took Jongho by surprise. He had been putting it in the back burner, but it was definitely easier rooming with emotionally unpredictable Mingi than two old friends. Their relationship went in roller coasters more often than Jongho could get in between them, so much that he decided to leave them alone. What were all those years for, after all? But it didn’t help that Jongho had a hero complex, coming from being the first son in his family. He wanted to help. He just didn’t know how. 

“You know how they are,” Jongho chuckled lightheartedly. “Sometimes I worry Yeosang wasn’t kidding when he threatened to break their friendship.”

“He can’t do that even if he wanted to,” Yunho offered, smiling. “How’s he going to friend-break up with his teammate? He’s going to live with Wooyoung and the rest of us for the rest of his career.”

“Well, I feel like that makes it even more tense.”

“Are things _that_ bad?”

Yes, Yeosang can be distant, and yes, Wooyoung can be thoughtless, and yes, those two often miscommunicated even on the simplest things. Wooyoung gave Yeosang cold shoulders for two days when he bought chicken after Wooyoung decided to cook for Yeosang for his show. Yeosang didn’t mention the sous vide since their Idol Wonderland appearance, bitter that Wooyoung didn’t bother to tell San that Yeosang gave it to him. While Wooyoung was the type to speak aloud his concerns, Yeosang was the type to keep to himself when confronted with a problem before he worked it out. It was because Wooyoung wants to be honest. It was because Yeosang didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. The more Jongho thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed; they cared about each other so much that they ended up hurting each other, and only the people around them who can see it.

“I guess that’s not all bad if they still care about each other.”

The two gave a moment pass between them.

“If you’re going to confront them, I think it’s best to go to Wooyoung first,” Yunho suggested.

“Why so?”

“Well first of all, Wooyoung’s much more agreeable when it comes to delicate things, and even if he’s not okay with it he’ll at least try to appear okay until he can accept it.”

Jongho nodded along in agreement.

“For Yeosang, it’s easier to let him delve in his own thoughts himself. He has an exterior, and we talk to the person he made up, not the voice inside. That’s how you talk to him, how he’ll put down his guards. If you immediately attack him with a problem, he’ll shut you out.”

“That makes sense,” Jongho sighed. Rarely did he see members approach Yeosang first. It was usually Yeosang who brought things up; his concerns, his thoughts, his resolve. And even then, it was when he finally decided to talk about it, even when the others had realized he’d been struggling for days. “I wonder what goes on in his head. If we prodded, would he fall even further down his own thoughts?”

“He has good thoughts besides the bad ones,” Yunho said. “I’m sure he’ll speak up when it gets bad… like Mingi.”

Jongho quieted. He started pushing the bricks with his foot too, offering some help to straighten them back up again so they wouldn’t leave a mess. A part of Jongho wished the van would arrive this second, but another hoped that their manager wouldn’t catch them talking about the other members, because that would lead to a lecture about keeping their mental health in check, and to speak up when it gets too hard, both physically and mentally, and all the things he already knew from the closing speech their CEO gave them at every monthly meeting. 

He wondered when it started; Mingi’s bad thoughts. If they had been there since the moment he knew Mingi. If there was something that could’ve told Jongho that something was wrong. He knew what it felt like to be left out from group activities, but he hadn’t been gone for a whole promotion period, and he didn’t have the back problems Mingi had, and he didn’t have the expectations that the rapper had. Jongho had other expectations, but it was different for him. He challenged them. Mingi was challenged by them. 

“Sometimes,” Yunho started, his voice softer than before. Jongho thought he might have tried to choke back a tear. “Sometimes I wonder if there was anything I could do.”

Pause.

“I said I wanted to take care of Mingi, that I’d be the sunshine to Mingi’s brooding aura or whatever, but in the end I couldn’t, y’know? And that kinda sucks.”

“That _really_ sucks.”

“Yea. It really does.”

Another pause. Jongho imagined the manager in their van, being stuck in traffic, praying to whatever god he believed in that no one came to kidnap these two K-pop idols from the set, but the crew was still clearing up, and they were under close surveillance. Yunho gave a slow exhale of air, making a sound through his mask. His eyes had moistened but nothing was running so they were safe from gossipping whispers. 

“You can’t blame yourself for it, though,” Jongho said, breaking the silence. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and what he feels is beyond your control.”

“In the end,” Yunho sighed, “it’s up to him, right? I can try to help, and say whatever I want him to hear, but if he doesn’t want to hear it…”

They watched the familiar van drive closer to the side of the road, and their feet brought them closer to the edge of the walkway automatically.

“Let’s let him heal at his own pace, in his own way,” Jongho smiled up to the older. “He’ll be fine.”

Upon stepping into the van, they went back to their phones, already absorbed in their own afterthoughts. In the apartment, various scents came from the kitchen through the living area, and the two lavished in them, swallowing saliva back into their empty stomachs.

“This looks so good!” Yunho exclaimed as he entered the kitchen, his persona a total 180 from the person Jongho talked to an hour ago, which was normal for him; to switch between personalities to fit the room. The two chefs of the day, Seonghwa and Wooyoung, looked from the other side of the kitchen, aprons hung on their necks, arms crossed in front of their torsos in pride. Jongho walked into his bedroom and threw his things on his single bed, chucking his jacket onto one of the hangers super taped onto the wall. He watched Yeosang jump from his bunk when the doorbell rang. Again?

“Kang Yeosang, you’re not eating any of this!” Wooyoung shouted. Jongho planned to sit next to Yeosang later at dinner so he can offer some of his portion. Wooyoung might not have meant it, but just in case he’s more sensitive today than other days. Jongho washed up and changed, then walked out to the living area, watching Wooyoung and Seonghwa set the table. Yeosang had placed the box of chicken in the middle of the table; so he was planning to share today. Wooyoung skipped the rice bowl and cutlery for Yeosang, and he just smiled guiltily in response. Jongho got himself a can of coke from the fridge and took the seat to Yeosang’s right, scooping himself up some of the broth that smelled deliciously like pork and the perfect amount of salt, herbs, and gochujang paste. Yeosang took a piece of the fried chicken onto his plate, biting into the flesh. After feeding himself two bites, Jongho offered his bowl to Yeosang. The older accepted it gratefully. 

“Nice, traitor, you’re not getting lunch tomorrow,” Wooyoung gave an empty threat.

“I won’t be home for lunch tomorrow,” Jongho told, but they already knew. Another day, another shoot. 

“Well, you’re not getting lunch the next time you _will_ be home,” Wooyoung corrected himself. “Sannie, hurry up before dinner gets cold.”

“i’mherei’mhere,” San chanted in English as he jogged out of his room, followed by the taller who had briefly went into his room to hang his coat. They had been distracted by some new skins on the game server and gotten off from San’s laptop at the growl of Yunho’s stomach. They took their places at the table; Yunho across from Jongho and San across Yeosang. Wooyoung looked up at Seonghwa. The older shook his head before heading back to the kitchen, rummaging the cupboards. “I’ll put aside some for Hongjoong. He’ll be back soon, I think.”

Wooyoung took a seat on Yeosang’s left and started to fill a bowl with the broth, then passed it to Yunho, exchanging it for another empty bowl.

“Anyone want some chicken?” Yeosang asked. “I’m feeling generous tonight.”

Jongho peered into the box, and realizing Yeosang’s lowered guard, tried to steal the drumstick. The older swatted his hand away at the sight, and Jongho immediately surrendered, knowing where to not cross Yeosang.

“This is for Wooyoung,” Yeosang announced, giving Jongho a glare before sending a sweet smile to Wooyoung’s way.

“Kiss ass,” Wooyoung accused, but he couldn’t hide the smile creeping his lips. Wooyoung passed a bowl of the broth to Yeosang. “Thank you, Yeosang~”

Jongho rolled his eyes, meeting Yunho’s towards the end. Yunho only chuckled in return, understanding Jongho’s annoyance. These two will figure things out themselves, Jongho had nothing to worry about. Soon, Yunho’s phone vibrated, sounding on the table surface. Yunho picked it up and read the message.

“Guys, Mingi bought ice cream today and got a discount coupon, told us to use it.”

“Woohoo!” Wooyoung cheered. “Let’s go buy some after this.”

“Don’t buy any mint choco,” Seonghwa warned. “The last time was the last straw.”

“Did someone say toothpaste?” Hongjoong smiled as the door behind him clicked, bundled in thick jackets layered on top of him with the addition of a beanie on his head. If one were to fling him to a wall he would probably bounce off. 

“Another comment about mint choco tasting like toothpaste and I’ll empty all our toothpaste tubes and put them in an ice cream tub for you guys to eat,” San threatened. “Don’t worry, I’ll just buy a different tub. Just. For. Mint chocolate.”

Against San’s expectations, the older two and Yeosang started cheering, saying they’re saved. The other three can only smile and chuckle at San, who was passionately against his favorite ice cream flavor being demonized at the mention. Jongho took more bites of the delicious broth mixed with soft rice, glad that despite everything else that happens in this household, they were happy. Everyone got along, and no one was outrightly an asshole about living together. No one outcast themselves, unlike what he heard happened in other groups. Friendships (or any type of relationship, really) are hard, but with his members, it was easier. He wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world. 


End file.
